“Hello Mr. Johnson, this is a survey for ABC/Washington Post on Republican Presidential candidates. May we ask you a few brief questions?”

“Umm, yeah, I guess.”

“Thank you. Now first, if the election were held tomorrow, which of the following candidates would you vote for? In alphabetical order they are: Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Donald Trump, or Scott Walker?”

“Umm, that Trump guy. Don’t know the others.”

“Thank you. Now, which of the following are the most important issues to you as a voter? Terrorism, the economy, immigration, or the federal deficit?”

“Hell, it’s all them damned illegal Mexicans taking our jobs away.”

“Then you are saying immigration is your main concern.”

“Yup, that’s right. Trump … he’s like sayin’ what them other guys would like to say but they damned well don’t because they’re afraid. The country’s goin’ to hell and Trump’s tellin’ it like it is. Yeah, he’s a rich s.o.b. but he ain’t afraid of speakin’ the truth.”

Now this isn’t real, it’s just my take on Donald Trump’s recent ascent in the political polls.

You may ask yourself, as an intelligent person, why anyone would support Donald Trump for president. His comments about Mexicans are clearly racist, uninformed, and untrue.

Here’s what he said about Mexicans whom he professes to love:

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you [pointing to the audience]. They’re not sending you [pointing again]. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems to us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people! But I speak to border guards and they tell us what we’re getting. And it only makes common sense. They’re sending us not the right people. …”

And it’s not just Mexicans. He’s anti-free trade, pro-bailouts, anti-Islam, pro-Christian, anti-private property, pro-taxation, pro-big government, anti-China, pro-America, anti-McCain, pro-Himself, and definitely anti-“losers”. In Donald’s mind just about everyone other than himself is a loser.

Reason.com commentator Matt Welch noted that Trump’s recent speech at FreedomFest, a libertarian conference in Vegas, as being the dumbest speech he had seen in 17 years of covering politics.

It is actually difficult to figure out his policy positions. There are no policy papers on his web site. His speeches are mostly inflammatory verbal grenades without content. One recent not cherry-picked statement: “If I win the nomination, I will win the Hispanic vote, because I’ll take our jobs back from China!” I’ll let you try to figure that out. Another: “Now, our country needs — our country needs a truly great leader, and we need a truly great leader now. We need a leader that wrote The Art of the Deal.”

Originally published July 26, 2015